Every day in Washington seems to bring with it a new kind of political rally-alpacas, atheists, silent dancers-that it’s sometimes easy to miss the rallies that address the hairiest issues facing our troubled nation.
Yesterday, the American Mustache Institute descended on D.C. for the “Million Mustache March,” a confab for hirsute gentlemen, hipster-’stached weirdos and would-be Ron Swansons to make their collective voice heard. Unfortunately for the organizers, the crowd was far fewer than the million hoped for. Still, the event garned a few hundred mostly mustachioed marchers eager to show off their flavor-savers and deliver an surprisingly agressive credo to the country’s halls of power.
Demonstrated gathered on the National Mall, and also made stops at the White House and U.S. Supreme Court, hoping to issue the following demands, according to a press release:
The American Mustache Institute has tried to make itself something of a player on the local and national scenes in the current election cycle. Last month, Rep. Roscoe Bartlett (R-Md.) was pressed into spin mode to dispel the group’s suggestion that he supported a so-called “‘Stache Act” that would give mustache-wearers a $250 tax credit for grooming supplies. And the American Mustache Institute has also been attempting to cozy up to the presidential campaign of the clean-shaven Mitt Romney.
Frankly, we think the American Mustache Institute might want to cool off, especially after reading the aforementioned set of demands. The notion of legislating facial hair doesn’t exactly land them in the best of company.